Awkward Moments of Nonverbal Communication

For this activity, I must first prerequisite my story with a brief discussion of my discomfort with awkward interpersonal situations. I am a very protective of my personal space, and interactions that involve the level of discomfort asked of us for today's activity swelled like a balloon in my chest. I felt anxious. I felt apprehensive. I didn't want to do this activity at all. Ultimately, my discomfort with the activity made me more prone to breaking character during each activity.

For the first activity, I talked with my neighbor whose daughter attends the same daycare as my children. Meeting her outside of our daycare, I struck up a conversation with her about her daughter, and what plans they had for the weekend, inquiring about a possible play date at the park. I maintained eye contact for nearly the whole time, but eventually she started laughing and the jig was up. Perhaps this experiment needs to be performed on people that are mere acquaintances, as people that are familiar with my mannerisms know that I rarely make eye contact, a byproduct of my issues with personal space. After I told her what was going on, she said that she knew something weird was going on, because I never act that way around her or when talking with her.

During the second activity, I talked with the guitarist for my band, not making eye contact the entire time. However, this is usually on par for my conversations, and didn't seem to have much impact on him. After debriefing him about the activity, he did say that he felt more prone to detach from the conversation, since I didn't ever look at him, while I usually at least make minimal eye contact. I thought this experiment taught me that I need to work on strengthening my maintenance of eye contact with those with whom I speak. However, this may be difficult when the person is in close proximity (a two foot radius), as I am quite particular about my personal space.

For the last activity, I chose to do this with my wife, as I felt extremely uncomfortable doing this with anyone else. I know, I'm chicken, I'm a spoil sport, but I think I would have an anxiety attack or completely lose my composure if I tried to do this activity with anyone else. As it was, it turned out pretty great, as I struck up the conversation in our kitchen while we were both working on the dishes. I managed to gradually edge her into a corner of our kitchen where she could not move, and by this time the jig was up. However, she thought that the activity was really fun, and she enjoyed being part of the experiment, saying that she really thought that it worked. I guess people naturally try to maintain their personal space, doing whatever they can to keep that distance - whatever distance it may be that makes them comfortable - between them and the person with whom they are talking.

Ultimately, then, these three activities showed that consistency is important when maintaining your own preference of personal space while at the same time respecting each other person's own preferences for personal space. These preferences can be difficult to evaluate, as it is important to realize that each person has their own unique preference, but understanding this can go a long way towards avoiding awkward situations.

Questions:
1. Have you ever experienced someone that has a drastically different preference for personal space than you?
2. How did you react?